I haven’t said too much about me before, so I’ll say right now that I’m below average human size. I’m 5’4″ and thin, and I look like a really small person. When I play the violin, it looks like a viola. I often wish I was taller. Sometimes I also get weird, rather teenage angst about being short. Most of my friends are at least a little bit taller than average, and I have a few friends who are well over 6 feet tall, so often I wonder what it would be like to be on the other side of the bell curve. With that, I have to thank iQ Fountainbridge for providing me with an elaborate, realistic simulation, and now I know. It’s horrible. Let me explain.
Absolutely everything in the flat is miniature. The bed is a miniature double bed, the desk is shaped like a big desk, but small and short, the chair is weirdly small, the sink is smaller than many mixing bowls, and the shower stall doesn’t look large enough for me to properly wash myself. Going into the kitchen – the fridge isn’t large enough to store one person’s groceries, the freezer is small, so wouldn’t last long enough for one person to make food and then freeze it in batches, or for anyone who likes frozen food to store their food. The counters are small, and the cupboards don’t look deep enough to store proper dishes. Wait, I’m going about this wrong. If I buy smaller plates, they’ll fit, and they’ll also further the illusion that I am a large person.
However, their admirable dedication to teaching people what it’s like to be larger than they already are doesn’t explain why the mattress is lumpy and saggy, or why everything looks like it hasn’t been cleaned.
So I suppose I should thank iQ Fountainbridge for teaching me to accept myself the way I am. I would thank them even more if they would release me from my contract.